


Squash is Super Yucky

by QQI25



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 12:16:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14188785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QQI25/pseuds/QQI25
Summary: Wade finds squash in his chicken noodle soup.





	Squash is Super Yucky

**Author's Note:**

> henlo i had squash in my bowl of chicken noodle soup which my mom occasionally makes but squash is disgusting!! okay it wasn’t nearly as bad as i was making it out to be, but still. disgusting!!

Peter took his seat at the dining table to find Wade sitting there, just staring down at his bowl. 

“What’s up, Wade?” 

“There’s squash. In my bowl,” Wade pointed out. 

“Yeah. So?” 

“Soooo I hate squash! It’s disgusting! Gross! Yucky!” 

“Are you saying you don’t like when I cook food?” 

“No. Of course not, Petey. I’m _saying_ I don’t like when you put icky food in the meal!” 

“It’s chicken noodle soup, babe. There’s lotsa veggies in it. Besides, it won’t be as bad as you think,” Peter said matter-of-factly.

“You can’t eat it for me?” Wade pleaded. 

“I can’t. It’s good for you. You won’t die.” Wade reluctantly ate all the pieces of squash that littered his bowl. He hated that Peter was right, and made sure to grumble as he ate each piece. 

 

“You gonna eat that?” Peter pointed at the broccoli sitting in Wade’s bowl with his spoon. They were both nearly done with their food. 

“Yes! Don’t eat it!” Wade yelped. 

“Okay, okay. Why’d you leave it then?”

“Because I was saving it best for last, which I exceptionally needed after the abomination left in my bowl. Duhhhhhh.”

“Especially, Wade,” Peter corrected fondly. 

“Same difference,” Wade replied, waving it off. When Wade finished, he shoved his bowl aside so he could place his clasped hands in front of him. 

“So, young grasshopper, you _obviously_ don’t know how to eat properly,” Wade said, starting his lesson. 

“Contrary to popular belief, I am not a literal child,” Peter said dryly. “You, on the other hand . . . “

“Hey!” Wade protested. “I am _not_!” Peter nodded slowly, point made. 

“First, you get some food. Then, you use your utensil of choice to get some of that food. _Then_ -“

“That’s not what I meant!” Wade exclaimed, sulking. Peter snorted. “ _Any_ way, as I was _about_ to say before I got so _rudely_ interrupted, it’s not hard. The first part of your meal is the food you _hate_ , if there’s any. That way, you don’t have to stare at that bullshit for long, and you can get it done and over with. Then, you eat whatever you don’t hate. And at the end, you eat whatever you absolutely _love_. That way, your last thought and memory of your meal is extra special because it’s your fave. Any questions?” Peter was about to ask before Wade cut him off. “Never mind. I change my mind. You’re gonna say something stupid.” 

“Hey, I resent that,” Peter retorted. Wade tutted, wagging his finger at him. 

“Uh uh uh, who’s the child now?” 

“Wade, you absolute shithead! I wasn’t even being childish! _You’re_ stupid!” Peter broke off when it didn’t have any effect on Wade, who was laughing gleefully, slapping the table. And also maybe because he quickly realised that in protesting, he was starting to be childish. Peter growled lowly and Wade screeched, taking off. He made sure to take his bowl and deposit it in the sink. 

“You can’t chase me because I dropped off my bowl at the sink like a good boy should!" Wade called out. 

“You’re also a _dead_ boy when I find you!” Peter dropped his bowl off at the sink as well before chasing after Wade. 

“But you love me, right? You wouldn’t kill me,” Wade responded. Peter could hear the pout in his voice. Peter switched to travelling on the ceiling and got to the bedroom, where Wade was standing in the middle, wide open. No matter how quiet he was, Wade was an ex-mercenary-now-superhero, and heard Peter. He froze and looked around the room. Peter took that moment to jump on Wade’s back. Wade positively shrieked and Peter cackled, grateful that his sticky extremities made it so he wouldn’t fall off. 

“You scared, you big baby?” Peter asked, voice low and mouth right by Wade’s ear. A small “eep” escaped Wade’s mouth, and they both fell into a giggling fit, Wade hunched over, which caused Peter to be hunched over as well, because he was still attached to Wade. 

“Okay, okay, you want fruit tart?” Wade lit up and straightened, clapping his hands together. 

“Yes,” he declared quite enthusiastically. 

“Then take us to the kitchen,” Peter ordered. 

“Yessir,” Wade answered with a salute, marching to the fridge. 

The fruit tart was delicious, and didn’t contain squash, thank god.


End file.
